Saturday, February 25, 2012

Life is good.

I have practically abandoned this blog as I have been so busy. I also have two blogs that really delve into my passions that I tend to focus on, Untangled Family Roots and Quilting Heritage. But today I was going through some of my posts on this blog and cleaning up some of those stupid posts advertising something that make you want to scream and I realized that when I began writing this blog my life was so different from what it is today.

When I began this blog I was struggling to find myself. I had just had a third baby, working part time or temporary jobs to make ends meet and trying to be a stay at home mom at the same time. It had all lead to depression. But I finally learned, life is what you make of it. It's never perfect, so you've got to stop trying for perfection. Go with the flow and make the best of every situation.

We finally sold our home last April and got out from under that burden. You know sometimes home owner ship isn't all it's cracked up to be. For some people who struggle to make ends meet it becomes a bigger burden then it is worth. Made worse by having neighbors who drove us crazy with their lack of respect for others.

We moved out here to the country to share with property with Mom and Dad. It's a lot of work for them, and I know they appreciate having us around at times to help out. But I too have learned a great appreciation for what they do on this farm. They both work so hard with these animals. I more or less just fill in when needed but otherwise just enjoy the animals. My work begins in the spring when I plant my garden. But even it's nothing in comparison to the work Mom does with the animals.

I am happier than I have ever been. My husband and I have been together 20 years, married 18, and I could never ask for a better husband. I only hope that he can say the same thing and that I full fill him the way he does me. I've learned that in our 18 years of marriage that neither of us are perfect and that I had to quit expecting perfection, but at the same time find my voice when something was truly wrong. I'm looking forward to the next 20 years in his loving arms.

We have three beautiful children. Again, not perfect, but they are good kids at heart. They are in 4H now and we are all enjoying this as a family. I can't believe my oldest is 14 already.

I have a wonderful job now that I love. I'm no longer doing sales, dressing to someone else's expectation and trying to impress people. I've learned, though I did okay in sales, that I was not being true to myself. I had to be fake, and I hate it when people are fake. I think that's why I struggled to be happy back then. Now I work at Kimball Office where my father also works. It's sometimes hard dirty work, but I can be myself. If I feel like laughing out loud (and yes my laugh is loud) I can do just that and not have to worry about a boss that gets upset because it makes a bad impression when he's or she's on the phone with a customer. If I feel like jeans and a tee shirt for the day who cares. If I feel like slacks and heels I may turn a few heads because they aren't use to seeing that, but it's alright when it's a day I'm working in the office. If I want to wear my cowboy boots and be completely myself that perfectly alright too.

My point is that I finally dealt with the depression by finding myself, being true to myself, doing what makes me happy, but with moderation so as not to tip the balance of happiness therefore keeping my family happy as well. When I found genealogy and quilting made me happy I also made things worse by only wanting to do one or both and neglecting my husband and the house. It didn't go over well with him and only made me more unhappy. When I finally learned that he truly embraces my passions as long as I keep them in balance the happiness was just naturally there all the time. When my husband is happy so am I. Life is good these days.

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